I've been trying to write a blog post at least once per week because I have so many thoughts rolling around in my brain and it helps to get it down on paper every so often. So far it's been a great way to share with the great unknown world my own experience, strength, and hope, if such a thing exists :)
This past week was Thanksgiving, and I'm grateful for the reminder to be grateful. Ever since last week when my crazy stories got me in trouble and I had to work consciously on curbing my obsessive thinking, I've been in a funky mood. I was also anticipating how busy this weekend would be at work, and how I wouldn't really get to relax when so many other people get to take a long weekend and even travel "home" or somewhere else to see family or do something fun. For me, not getting caught up in the bitter moments and focusing on all the possible negative can be challenging sometimes. Even reminding myself to be grateful and find (or even write down) things I'm thankful for doesn't always work.
This year, however, I found a quote. I clung to this quote because it carried the weight of a few key words I strive to foster in my own life. The quote came in an email from Tommy Newberry, who's the author of The 4:8 Principle . He's a big believer and proponent of gratitude and positive thinking, and uses Philippians 4:8 (a Bible verse) as his mantra and inspiration. Anyway, the email was talking about Thanksgiving and practicing gratitude. In it, he says "Gratitude is a conviction, a practice, & a discipline. It’s an essential nutrient for the soul, a spiritual amino acid for human growth, creativity & joy."
Wow. Gratitude is an action, a practice, a discipline, a conviction. It is not just some flimsy or whimsical ideal, it is something concrete and tangible that we have to work on every single day. It's like writing a daily blog in order to hone your writing skills, or hitting the batting cages in baseball in order to improve your swing and increase your hitting average. You have to practice gratitude. That means that even if you're not feeling particularly thankful or grateful, you should think about it anyway and make yourself come up with items for a gratitude list or just force yourself to note the people or situations or things you are grateful for at any given day or time, whether it's the little kids playing tag you saw in the park by your house or the friend who called you out of the blue just to say hi. For me, sometimes it's the big picture things ("I'm grateful my relationships with my parents are improving and we can communicate better and more effectively than we ever have") and sometimes it's simple tiny things "I'm grateful for my cat who snuggled with me in bed this morning because she's cute and warm and makes me smile and feel loved.")
The second part of the quote, about it being an essential nutrient for the soul that helps build and grow creativity and joy, really hit home for me. As I continue to take art classes, explore psychological and spiritual principles, hone my hospitality skills, and practice being of humble service every day, I am seeking to grow and strengthen my creativity and my joy. I believe I am creative person, and it's no wonder to me that someone who practices gratitude faithfully is able to have an open mind and heart to the creative process. When you are grateful, you are free. Thankfulness and gratitude open the heart, mind, and soul to receive gifts many would never see. And the smallest act of kindness, the smallest moment of quiet or beauty, the inner space that gratitude provides can lead to the most striking inspiration. The inner space gratitude provides also allows your true self to emerge and allows you to focus on being of service and finding joy in that surrender.
Humility and surrender are near to the top of my prayer list these days. If I'm to overcome my obsessive thinking, it's going to come from a willingness to turn over my crap to God. It's going to happen when I willingly surrender my will to God and allow him to fill my mind and heart with gratitude and the desire to be of service and focus on my singleness of purpose. I didn't used to understand surrender... I wanted to be in charge and thought that I could do it all with God's help, but that God's help was secondary and would just come in terms of strengthening my own will and assets. Now I realize that I can't do it all myself and that my greatest successes will come when I ask for help, get out of the way, and allow God's grace to work through me in his time and in his fashion. It's hard, but the prayer for surrender comes easier, and I understand the necessity of surrender more than I did before.
Hopefully this coming year I will be able to focus more on gratitude, allowing space for my creativity to grow and my joy to overflow. I hope to continue asking for the willingness to surrender and be of humble service, so that God's will may be done and I may find peace, serenity, and joy in watching his will work in my life.
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