Creativity Abounds!

I love being in art classes. When I was growing up, I always loved the art projects for class. Creative writing projects probably came first, but art/craft projects probably came a very close second. Both stretched the bounds of my limited analytical thinking, and both allowed me to express myself safely without fear of criticism. Somehow I always knew that it was what I thought about them that mattered the most. If I colored a picture for a coloring contest and liked how it turned out, if I was pleased with the story or essay, if I liked the way I was able to master some skill in some fashion for an art project, it did not matter to me if anyone else liked it. I'm sure in some form or fashion I wanted to be liked and for my things to be approved of and appreciated, and I know that was true in a number of OTHER things in my life. But in terms of my creativity, I think I've always felt some freedom and peace in my expression.

That doesn't mean I don't have insecurities about it. I am terrified that my art will not be good enough to allow me a place in the occupation of art therapy. It doesn't matter that I do have skill and talent, that I am working hard to perfect and grow those skills and talents, AND that I have a great ability to talk about my creative process and my completed works. I know I have what it takes to be a successful, compassionate, creative, and wonderful art therapist. But I'm still insecure about my ability to be seen in a professional environment as a strong and talented artist when there are so many people in the field who have art degrees and backgrounds.

The blessing of my life journey this past year is that I am seeing my insecurities more clearly AND I'm learning to proactively work to change them versus working to change my reactions to them. I still need to be aware of and change how I react to my insecurities and be watchful and mindful of how they can play out in my interactions with friends, family members, coworkers, etc. However, how I have the ability and willingness to look one step deeper and attack the insecurities themselves.

For example, WHY do I feel insecure in my art abilities? Well, probably because I've only been taking classes for three semesters and am still very new to the drawing and painting scenes. I'm still very inexperienced with the media, even if I have shown some aptitude for them in my classes. Well, one way to improve and become more confident in a skill such as drawing or painting is to practice! And out of that thought came the inspiration to create a small 8x10 painting for each of my family members for Christmas, AND to use a few of my photography assignment prints to create gifts for a couple friends.

These projects will not only give me practice working with different media, they will also be great additions to my portfolio, will allow me to create something of myself for people I like, and will probably inspire future projects!

I'm very excited about what the next month will bring in terms of my art and creative endeavors. I continue to work on writing my 4th step, which is about the extent of my creative writing these days (except these occasional blog posts). I am contemplating what classes to take next semester and believe I am close to deciding on two classes. I think I will be able to create my portfolio next summer without too much hassle or fear. I am really looking forward to continuing this creative journey and seeing what will come out of my untapped imagination next!