This weekend was wonderful. We had a great time hanging out, spending time with my family, my/our friends, and each other. I know it was hard, but for the most part it felt like we were still the same old Marquette buddies. That is, until Sunday night, when I could tell he was pulling back and he admitted it had been a tough weekend. For some reason, that and the fact that we were headed "back to reality" and the city where we dated & broke up made me get crazy sad. I cried in the bathroom (twice) and during a good portion of the flight back to Chicago (apparently he didn't notice, which is weird).
Sully is someone with whom I'm completely comfortable. I have never been more myself than I am with him, but I also feel like when I was with him as "his girlfriend" I wasn't the self I thought I was or wanted to be. I don't know how to make that make sense. It's like we are different people when we're city dwellers with real professional jobs versus who we were together as friends in college or friends going through volunteer experiences last year. It's not that I didn't like who I was when I was with him, but I didn't recognize the person I was changing into.
February 6, 2007
Now that we're just friends, I feel like I'm me again. They say that when you love someone, that person makes you want to be a better person and you feel like you are so much of who you are and could be when you are with him/her. I didn't quite feel that way with Sully. In fact, I didn't really feel that way at all.
It's all very disheartening. I want to love him and fall in love with him, because he's so much my match! He has really set the bar high -- whoever I end up with will be based on this relationship, because in Sully I found so much of what I want in a life partner. I just didn't have the warmth, the spark, the zing. I know sometimes that can develop, but there's got to at least be a glimmer before it can turn into a full-fledged fire. I thought there was a glimmer but there wasn't. I wish there was - Lord I wish there was. But God has not seen fit to put us together in that way, and I have to accept. More, SULLY has to accept that.
I think this may be harder and more awkward than he is ready or willing to admit. My birthday celebration was somewhat awkward, and now I'm nervous about going to see "Wicked" with him on Friday -- what a great birthday present, and I'm excited to see it with him, but every ounce of my being is back to the "Just Friends" and the "Close Prayer Partner/Marquette Buddy" part of our friendship/relationship, but I have to be even more careful about not leading him on in other ways. It's like I have to step WAY back in order for him to heal, which makes it harder for ME to heal. How am I supposed to be just his friend when I can't even act like the friend I want and need to be?
This is all rambling and ridiculous -- Just pray for us, because Lord knows we need it. I know we'll be fine, but it definitely is going to take some time.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Thursday, January 25, 2007
This Sucks
Even though I know I did the right thing, it still sucks. It sucks because he is having a really hard time with it, and I don't know if he'll ever get over it. He was falling so hard for me, and as he said, "...this is a lot harder than I expected. When you are paranoid about something for 2.5 months and you finally get to the place where you let your guard down, it really sucks to have that paranoia come to fruition. This weekend will be hard as well, but it needs to happen...we both know that."
I'm so grateful he still wants to go this weekend... not only because of the financial reasons ($300+ for two tickets) which are small potatoes compared to the other more important reason of him and I needing to spend time together to reassure ourselves that the friendship is there and is intact and will *hopefully* remain intact.
I wish I loved him. You have no idea how badly I wish I loved him. He's the perfect boyfriend in every way, and in a lot of respects he would have (eventually) made an excellent spouse. But, there was no passion for him, and eventually that would have killed the relationship. As it is, I was realizing that now and that's why I ended it. I wish it didn't suck so much, for either of us, but it did. He thinks it'll take a month or two, but if Greg & I are any indication it could easily take a year or more. I just hope that even if it does take that long that Sully and I are still able to maintain our friendship. I would hate for either of us to lose a 2+ year friendship that has obviously meant so much to both of us because we tried dating and it didn't work out.
Ironically enough (God moment?), the book I'm reading had something to say that exactly encompasses what I'm feeling. I read this passage this morning and wanted to share. So, to quote Nicholas Sparks in "True Believers":
"...she wanted to meet the right guy first, someone who inspired her, the kind of guy she would be proud to call her man. This was where she and Doris differed. Doris seemed to think that a decent, moral man with a good job was all a woman should reasonably expect. And maybe in the past, those were all the qualities that someone could expect. But Lexie didn't want to settle for someone simply because he was kind and decent and had a good job. Who knows-- maybe she had unrealistic expectations, but Lexie wanted to feel passion for him as well. No matter how kind or responsible a man was, if she didn't feel any passion, she couldn't help but think that she'd be "settling" for someone, and she didn't want to settle. That wouldn't be fair to her and it wouldn't be fair to him. She wanted a man who was both sensitive and kind, but at the same time could sweep her off her feet. She wanted someone who would offer to rub her feet after a long day at the library, but also challenge her intellectually. Someone romantic, of course, the kind of guy who would buy her flowers for no reason at all.
It wasn't too much to ask, was it?
According to [magazines], it was. In those magazines, it seemed every article stated that it was completely up to the woman to keep the excitement alive in a relationship. But wasn't a relationship supposed to be just that? A relationship? Both partners doing everything they could to keep the other satisfied?"
It goes on, but the gist is passion (and mutual passion) is important. If he falls for me but I don't fall for him, both of us are going to be dissatisfied in the relationship. Sully is everything I want in a guy, except for the passion. And maybe the passion can grow, but I don't want to hurt him or be unfair to him by pretending to care for him that way when I just am not feeling it. And it is not his fault in the least -- he's romantic, sensitive, communicates well, is honest and hardworking, kind, etc. I just don't have the physical attraction and passion piece. Yes I think he's cute and attractive, but I've discovered I just don't think of him in that way. I haven't really been able to the whole time. At times I thought I did/could, but it didn't last. I always felt like a fraud. I just couldn't wrap my head around being a couple with him with other people -- by ourselves we were fine, but with friends it just never felt quite right. I hate that I felt that way, but I did. Mom asked me if it was because I was scared and I said, "Not this time." The first time around, yes I think I was scared. This time, we gave it a fair shake and it just wasn't working out for me. I know he loves me, and I hate hate hate that I had to break his heart especially because I know it will make it really awkward between us... I still don't regret dating him. Even if our friendship suffers, I don't regret dating him, because I know we were meant to. I hope and pray that our friendship withstands this test, because I value him and his friendship more than a lot of people's, and I know my friendship means a lot to him as well. I pray God guides our hearts towards healing and understanding. The fact that he's coming to MN and said what he said about coming to Minnesota (that we need it and we both know it) shows an incredible strength of character. I give him mad props for being willing to go through with it.
The rest of it, we'll just take one day and event at a time. Pray for us.
I'm so grateful he still wants to go this weekend... not only because of the financial reasons ($300+ for two tickets) which are small potatoes compared to the other more important reason of him and I needing to spend time together to reassure ourselves that the friendship is there and is intact and will *hopefully* remain intact.
I wish I loved him. You have no idea how badly I wish I loved him. He's the perfect boyfriend in every way, and in a lot of respects he would have (eventually) made an excellent spouse. But, there was no passion for him, and eventually that would have killed the relationship. As it is, I was realizing that now and that's why I ended it. I wish it didn't suck so much, for either of us, but it did. He thinks it'll take a month or two, but if Greg & I are any indication it could easily take a year or more. I just hope that even if it does take that long that Sully and I are still able to maintain our friendship. I would hate for either of us to lose a 2+ year friendship that has obviously meant so much to both of us because we tried dating and it didn't work out.
Ironically enough (God moment?), the book I'm reading had something to say that exactly encompasses what I'm feeling. I read this passage this morning and wanted to share. So, to quote Nicholas Sparks in "True Believers":
"...she wanted to meet the right guy first, someone who inspired her, the kind of guy she would be proud to call her man. This was where she and Doris differed. Doris seemed to think that a decent, moral man with a good job was all a woman should reasonably expect. And maybe in the past, those were all the qualities that someone could expect. But Lexie didn't want to settle for someone simply because he was kind and decent and had a good job. Who knows-- maybe she had unrealistic expectations, but Lexie wanted to feel passion for him as well. No matter how kind or responsible a man was, if she didn't feel any passion, she couldn't help but think that she'd be "settling" for someone, and she didn't want to settle. That wouldn't be fair to her and it wouldn't be fair to him. She wanted a man who was both sensitive and kind, but at the same time could sweep her off her feet. She wanted someone who would offer to rub her feet after a long day at the library, but also challenge her intellectually. Someone romantic, of course, the kind of guy who would buy her flowers for no reason at all.
It wasn't too much to ask, was it?
According to [magazines], it was. In those magazines, it seemed every article stated that it was completely up to the woman to keep the excitement alive in a relationship. But wasn't a relationship supposed to be just that? A relationship? Both partners doing everything they could to keep the other satisfied?"
It goes on, but the gist is passion (and mutual passion) is important. If he falls for me but I don't fall for him, both of us are going to be dissatisfied in the relationship. Sully is everything I want in a guy, except for the passion. And maybe the passion can grow, but I don't want to hurt him or be unfair to him by pretending to care for him that way when I just am not feeling it. And it is not his fault in the least -- he's romantic, sensitive, communicates well, is honest and hardworking, kind, etc. I just don't have the physical attraction and passion piece. Yes I think he's cute and attractive, but I've discovered I just don't think of him in that way. I haven't really been able to the whole time. At times I thought I did/could, but it didn't last. I always felt like a fraud. I just couldn't wrap my head around being a couple with him with other people -- by ourselves we were fine, but with friends it just never felt quite right. I hate that I felt that way, but I did. Mom asked me if it was because I was scared and I said, "Not this time." The first time around, yes I think I was scared. This time, we gave it a fair shake and it just wasn't working out for me. I know he loves me, and I hate hate hate that I had to break his heart especially because I know it will make it really awkward between us... I still don't regret dating him. Even if our friendship suffers, I don't regret dating him, because I know we were meant to. I hope and pray that our friendship withstands this test, because I value him and his friendship more than a lot of people's, and I know my friendship means a lot to him as well. I pray God guides our hearts towards healing and understanding. The fact that he's coming to MN and said what he said about coming to Minnesota (that we need it and we both know it) shows an incredible strength of character. I give him mad props for being willing to go through with it.
The rest of it, we'll just take one day and event at a time. Pray for us.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Time for a Fresh Start
Oh goodness, what a week. And it's only 11:15 on Tuesday morning!
Last night I broke up with Sully, again. Yes, again. You know, I tried and I really thought on some level I cared about him in that way, but I realized that I don't and it's been stressing me out trying to figure out whether to keep this up or not. Luckily he said he could kind of see it coming so he wasn't 100% surprised. That doesn't make it suck any less for him, since he had really developed some deep feelings for me. He's just not the right one for me. He's definitely the most compatible guy I've ever dated (and sadly my shortest relationship to date), but we're much better off being just friends. And we will be able to be just friends. We spent two years cultivating a really good lasting friendship, and I don't think either of us plans on letting go of that any time soon. But, as Sully said, "I will need a little time to get over my feelings, but look forward to getting to work on that this weekend in MN. It will take some time (one-two month range I suppose) to get things back to normal, but I assure you it will happen." I'm really glad he's so committed to maintaining the friendship and working our way back to normal. I think we both know this friendship is too important and too strong to let this relationship and break-up affect in for the long haul.
I know it was the right thing to do because I feel at peace with it. This morning I was fighting back tears and got freaked out thinking he wouldn't want to do any of the things we have planned for the next several weeks (our trip to MN this weekend, my birthday, the Marquette/DePaul game, his birthday, the Marquette/Pitt game, Katie Balek's wedding...) but I'm hoping (and I think, if I know him at all) that he'll realize it's important to do those things together still, because the more we act like we're still friends the better we'll be able to stay friends. If we avoid hanging out and talking to each other, that just makes it worse. Andrea's right though, I do have to set boundaries. I'm not really worried about Sully thinking there's still a chance. He knows I don't feel the same way towards him, and if he saw this coming then he knows. He knows and he'll gradually be able to accept and move on. I know there is someone out there for each of us, and I'm excited for us to share in each other's lives and happiness down the road (because believe me it's not going to happen any time soon).
He was a great boyfriend -- thoughtful, courteous, planner, romantic, liked surprising, was good at communication and compromise -- if I had even a slight spark or attraction or whatever, it'd be perfect. But the emotional piece is there just not the spark/chemistry. And the spark/chemistry is important. The lack of it was making me think the emotional part wasn't what it should be. I miss my old friendship with Sully. He thinks we're better now, and to some extent we are because we know each other better and have been able to support each other in more ongoing ways. However, I miss the part of our relationship where we met once a week and that was our special time, where we talked candidly about anything in our life during that time because there was a high level of trust and companionship and comfort. I miss being able to talk faith and service with him. I miss that I felt challenged and stimulated in our conversations and interactions -- I feel like I haven't had that with him in a while.
I'm looking forward to working our way back towards just a really good friendship. I have, however, really learned my lesson about dating someone I've been friends with that long. Unless I'm absolutely certain there's a spark of chemistry there, it's not a good idea. I have this sneaking suspicion G has a thing for me, and God I hope he doesn't ever try to pursue it. That's what I said when I first thought Sully might like me -- "God, I hope not!" It's just not a good idea. It's like with this job, when I got the job offer, I was like "Oh shit, NOW what do I do?!" If it doesn't hit me as right or something I'm really excited about or interested in, it probably isn't meant to be. However, I learned a lot dating Sully and I'm glad we did. Same with this job -- I'm learning a lot and (eventually) I'll be glad I took it. However, neither are lasting careers/relationships.
I'm glad about this break up too because I think I'm finally ready to explore Chicago and make it my own. I think dating Sully was keeping me from really branching out the way I feel I need and want to. I was spending a lot of time with him and in a lot of ways he was "the only good thing" in my life. So many of my friendships are changing because of marriages and moving and careers, but I don't have anything in Chicago to hang on to except those changing friendships. I need to make a life for myself, that INCLUDES my past but doesn't EXCLUDE a future (if that makes sense). I want GVV and Marquette to be part of my life in Chicago, but I don't want it to be ALL of my life. I'm ready to branch out and try some things. This is sort of how I felt sophomore year of college after that emotionally rocky and rough freshman year and summer. At least this time the emotionally rough aspects of life aren't quite as battering, brutal, painful, or scarring as freshman year's were. Thank the goooooood lord for that.
Anyway, it's time I finished this entry for now and stopped procrastinating my work. I've been doing random things as I write this, but it's time to really hunker down and be productive. I hope everyone has a good and happy Tuesday, and may God be part of your life today!
Last night I broke up with Sully, again. Yes, again. You know, I tried and I really thought on some level I cared about him in that way, but I realized that I don't and it's been stressing me out trying to figure out whether to keep this up or not. Luckily he said he could kind of see it coming so he wasn't 100% surprised. That doesn't make it suck any less for him, since he had really developed some deep feelings for me. He's just not the right one for me. He's definitely the most compatible guy I've ever dated (and sadly my shortest relationship to date), but we're much better off being just friends. And we will be able to be just friends. We spent two years cultivating a really good lasting friendship, and I don't think either of us plans on letting go of that any time soon. But, as Sully said, "I will need a little time to get over my feelings, but look forward to getting to work on that this weekend in MN. It will take some time (one-two month range I suppose) to get things back to normal, but I assure you it will happen." I'm really glad he's so committed to maintaining the friendship and working our way back to normal. I think we both know this friendship is too important and too strong to let this relationship and break-up affect in for the long haul.
I know it was the right thing to do because I feel at peace with it. This morning I was fighting back tears and got freaked out thinking he wouldn't want to do any of the things we have planned for the next several weeks (our trip to MN this weekend, my birthday, the Marquette/DePaul game, his birthday, the Marquette/Pitt game, Katie Balek's wedding...) but I'm hoping (and I think, if I know him at all) that he'll realize it's important to do those things together still, because the more we act like we're still friends the better we'll be able to stay friends. If we avoid hanging out and talking to each other, that just makes it worse. Andrea's right though, I do have to set boundaries. I'm not really worried about Sully thinking there's still a chance. He knows I don't feel the same way towards him, and if he saw this coming then he knows. He knows and he'll gradually be able to accept and move on. I know there is someone out there for each of us, and I'm excited for us to share in each other's lives and happiness down the road (because believe me it's not going to happen any time soon).
He was a great boyfriend -- thoughtful, courteous, planner, romantic, liked surprising, was good at communication and compromise -- if I had even a slight spark or attraction or whatever, it'd be perfect. But the emotional piece is there just not the spark/chemistry. And the spark/chemistry is important. The lack of it was making me think the emotional part wasn't what it should be. I miss my old friendship with Sully. He thinks we're better now, and to some extent we are because we know each other better and have been able to support each other in more ongoing ways. However, I miss the part of our relationship where we met once a week and that was our special time, where we talked candidly about anything in our life during that time because there was a high level of trust and companionship and comfort. I miss being able to talk faith and service with him. I miss that I felt challenged and stimulated in our conversations and interactions -- I feel like I haven't had that with him in a while.
I'm looking forward to working our way back towards just a really good friendship. I have, however, really learned my lesson about dating someone I've been friends with that long. Unless I'm absolutely certain there's a spark of chemistry there, it's not a good idea. I have this sneaking suspicion G has a thing for me, and God I hope he doesn't ever try to pursue it. That's what I said when I first thought Sully might like me -- "God, I hope not!" It's just not a good idea. It's like with this job, when I got the job offer, I was like "Oh shit, NOW what do I do?!" If it doesn't hit me as right or something I'm really excited about or interested in, it probably isn't meant to be. However, I learned a lot dating Sully and I'm glad we did. Same with this job -- I'm learning a lot and (eventually) I'll be glad I took it. However, neither are lasting careers/relationships.
I'm glad about this break up too because I think I'm finally ready to explore Chicago and make it my own. I think dating Sully was keeping me from really branching out the way I feel I need and want to. I was spending a lot of time with him and in a lot of ways he was "the only good thing" in my life. So many of my friendships are changing because of marriages and moving and careers, but I don't have anything in Chicago to hang on to except those changing friendships. I need to make a life for myself, that INCLUDES my past but doesn't EXCLUDE a future (if that makes sense). I want GVV and Marquette to be part of my life in Chicago, but I don't want it to be ALL of my life. I'm ready to branch out and try some things. This is sort of how I felt sophomore year of college after that emotionally rocky and rough freshman year and summer. At least this time the emotionally rough aspects of life aren't quite as battering, brutal, painful, or scarring as freshman year's were. Thank the goooooood lord for that.
Anyway, it's time I finished this entry for now and stopped procrastinating my work. I've been doing random things as I write this, but it's time to really hunker down and be productive. I hope everyone has a good and happy Tuesday, and may God be part of your life today!
Thursday, January 11, 2007
2007 -- A year of change
2007 is only 11 days old, and already there are major shifts occuring, esp. in the realm of friendships.
One old high school buddy apologized for his purposeful absence over the past couple years and stated a hope that we could be in touch and become friends again. To which I replied, "OF COURSE!"
Another high school buddy who I once thought would be my maid-of-honor emailed and asked me not to be in touch anymore, that I put guilt trips on her for not being in better touch with me. While that may or may not be true, the fact is that she never emails or calls, and when I let her know I'm going to be in town for a week or a month and she makes no effort to hang out or even call to say she can't hang out or call just to say hi, that tells me that our friendship isn't important to her. Oh well, at least she was able to air her feelings and I was able to air mine, and we can just let it go. But it is sad nonetheless. (The best part is these two emails occured within 3-4 days of each other).
My GVV housemates are all doing their own thing -- I haven't talked to Suzette since before Christmas, and I'm not sure when I'll see her or Christy next. Clare and I have chatted a few times, and I will hopefully get to see her when she comes up to Chicago in a week. Erica and I will hopefully chat this weekend. Annie and Nelson are, well, Annie and Nelson. Nelson did stop by the GVV house when I was down there in December, but sadly our paths didn't cross. It meant a lot that he tried though! I still talk to various STL people off and on -- Jim & Geri sometimes, Eric, Betsy, Maureen, Ali, Monica, Sr. Jackie -- even got an email from Bro. Dave Berning this week! It's just interesting that something that was so intensely part of my life last year has become a more passive part of my life.
My college friends are continually becoming a larger and larger part of my life. Things are settling down now after the holidays and wedding #2, and the next wedding I have isn't until March. I will be able to spend more time with Steph and Brian, Dan and Mal, and Katie Rock once everyone gets back into town. Sully and I are doing fantastically well, and I have been able to meet some of his friends and spend some time with his sister/parents/family. We enjoy doing things together and his planning nature means we actually get to DO things as well as just be spontaneous and say "We're hanging out this night, what do we want to do?"
Work is work -- I had a mini break-down last week but this week is going better. Today is a big day, though, and if tonight doesn't go well I will have to search serious personal resevoirs to not get discouraged or overwhelmed. I am worried about sponsorships for Adelante, and I'm worried about recruitment. Tonight is a meeting for parents and staff to discuss recruiting ideas and how people can get involved. I hope that people come, and that I have someone who can help translate b/w Spanish and English, and that we get a good volunteer base. If not, I will at least feel like I tried and can attempt to do the things I want to do, just by myself. At least I will feel like I asked, right? And I will keep asking. I keep remembering the rule -- you'll get the highest response (on average) to any solicitation after the third try.
Well, that's enough reflection on 2007 and today. It's time to get to work. I hope everyone has a wonderful day!
One old high school buddy apologized for his purposeful absence over the past couple years and stated a hope that we could be in touch and become friends again. To which I replied, "OF COURSE!"
Another high school buddy who I once thought would be my maid-of-honor emailed and asked me not to be in touch anymore, that I put guilt trips on her for not being in better touch with me. While that may or may not be true, the fact is that she never emails or calls, and when I let her know I'm going to be in town for a week or a month and she makes no effort to hang out or even call to say she can't hang out or call just to say hi, that tells me that our friendship isn't important to her. Oh well, at least she was able to air her feelings and I was able to air mine, and we can just let it go. But it is sad nonetheless. (The best part is these two emails occured within 3-4 days of each other).
My GVV housemates are all doing their own thing -- I haven't talked to Suzette since before Christmas, and I'm not sure when I'll see her or Christy next. Clare and I have chatted a few times, and I will hopefully get to see her when she comes up to Chicago in a week. Erica and I will hopefully chat this weekend. Annie and Nelson are, well, Annie and Nelson. Nelson did stop by the GVV house when I was down there in December, but sadly our paths didn't cross. It meant a lot that he tried though! I still talk to various STL people off and on -- Jim & Geri sometimes, Eric, Betsy, Maureen, Ali, Monica, Sr. Jackie -- even got an email from Bro. Dave Berning this week! It's just interesting that something that was so intensely part of my life last year has become a more passive part of my life.
My college friends are continually becoming a larger and larger part of my life. Things are settling down now after the holidays and wedding #2, and the next wedding I have isn't until March. I will be able to spend more time with Steph and Brian, Dan and Mal, and Katie Rock once everyone gets back into town. Sully and I are doing fantastically well, and I have been able to meet some of his friends and spend some time with his sister/parents/family. We enjoy doing things together and his planning nature means we actually get to DO things as well as just be spontaneous and say "We're hanging out this night, what do we want to do?"
Work is work -- I had a mini break-down last week but this week is going better. Today is a big day, though, and if tonight doesn't go well I will have to search serious personal resevoirs to not get discouraged or overwhelmed. I am worried about sponsorships for Adelante, and I'm worried about recruitment. Tonight is a meeting for parents and staff to discuss recruiting ideas and how people can get involved. I hope that people come, and that I have someone who can help translate b/w Spanish and English, and that we get a good volunteer base. If not, I will at least feel like I tried and can attempt to do the things I want to do, just by myself. At least I will feel like I asked, right? And I will keep asking. I keep remembering the rule -- you'll get the highest response (on average) to any solicitation after the third try.
Well, that's enough reflection on 2007 and today. It's time to get to work. I hope everyone has a wonderful day!
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
"Thanks for being you!"
That's always an awesome sentiment to hear, especially from one's boyfriend.
Of course, it's also nice when it comes from a long-lost friend who admits to being a jerk and overreacting and shutting you out for no real valid reason.
Both of those happened this week, which has really helped put my mind in good spirits.
Can I just say how awesome it is that I have a boyfriend who I can talk to and tell just about ANYTHING to? We had a serious discussion about alcohol use this weekend and it could have taken an ugly personal vendetta-type turn, but it didn't. It was a really sweet moment just curled up watching some random movie with him rubbing my back and us talking about the wedding reception we had just returned from, my discomfort of our dear friend Mike's drinking/behavior, and how we both have very different backgrounds/ideas about drinking. The thing with us, is we can talk openly with each other and not feel like we're being attacked. He very astutely said that he felt he was being yelled at for Mike's behavior, and although that's true to some extent, I also felt that I had some valid concerns about drinking behaviors/habits in general. We were just trying to understand each other, and it was wonderful to be able to do that without pressure or negativity. Neither of us wants to hurt the other or the relationship, so we're going to be honest and communicate but we'll also not just ignore things.
He's so damn cute. He sends the sweetest emails every day, and he even called me at 3am this morning because he fell asleep before we had a chance to talk last night and we make it a point to talk every day. I must have subconsciously known it was him because I didn't even bat an eye when I felt my phone vibrate and glanced at the clock. I just assumed it was him, and I was able to say hi and good night. He also is going to extremes to plan my birthday which is a really nice change from feeling like no one cares about or has time for my birthday (I personally believe people are allowed to be selfish one day out of the year -- their birthdays). We both want to meet each other's family and friends, and we're both trying to respect alone time, friends time, and each other time. Overall, this is a really healthy relationship.
Our good friends Dan and Mal got married this past weekend. That marks wedding #2, but definitely the more fun of the two weddings I've been two in the past two months. Not that Steph and Brian's wasn't fun but I was exhausted (physically and emotionally) and I just couldn't enjoy it the same way I did Dan & Mal's. Plus I've known Dan and Mal a lot longer than Steph & Brian, and at least know them as a couple better than I know Steph & Brian as a couple. It was awesome to see Dan and Mal finally commit to each other after 5 years together. They will make a wonderful couple and family.
This weekend was also wonderful because Sunday evening a good friend from high school who had estranged himself from me over the past year and a half finally came to his senses and emailed an apology to me. The past is in the past, and I am so happy that he emailed. I hope he and I are able to talk soon because I very much miss his friendship and would like to be part of his and his fiancee's life again. Prayer really does work sometimes, even when it seems to take an awfully long time!
One final bit of fun news, or at least something to make you (or me) laugh. Last year at this time I was about to embark on the January retreat with my housemates followed by an overnight excursion with Pat & Bro. Dave to type up the Christmas Program Binder. During that overnight excursion was the "24" premiere. And the best part? I got Bro. Dave hooked at "24" as much as he HATED to admit it! It was awesome. So this weekend I get an email from him saying, "Do you know what's happening next Sunday and Monday night? Maybe if you don't have cable TV you can get your special friend to watch it with you at his place. Maybe you can corrupt him like you did me." Haha, the thing is, Sully already likes "24", but it was quite entertaining anyway. At least for me. You sort of have to know Bro. Dave to fully appreciate this "24" addiction.
Have to go back to work -- Have a great day!
PS: My uncle donated $200 to the school I work at -- how unexpectedly awesome and generous family can be sometimes!
Love y'all.
Of course, it's also nice when it comes from a long-lost friend who admits to being a jerk and overreacting and shutting you out for no real valid reason.
Both of those happened this week, which has really helped put my mind in good spirits.
Can I just say how awesome it is that I have a boyfriend who I can talk to and tell just about ANYTHING to? We had a serious discussion about alcohol use this weekend and it could have taken an ugly personal vendetta-type turn, but it didn't. It was a really sweet moment just curled up watching some random movie with him rubbing my back and us talking about the wedding reception we had just returned from, my discomfort of our dear friend Mike's drinking/behavior, and how we both have very different backgrounds/ideas about drinking. The thing with us, is we can talk openly with each other and not feel like we're being attacked. He very astutely said that he felt he was being yelled at for Mike's behavior, and although that's true to some extent, I also felt that I had some valid concerns about drinking behaviors/habits in general. We were just trying to understand each other, and it was wonderful to be able to do that without pressure or negativity. Neither of us wants to hurt the other or the relationship, so we're going to be honest and communicate but we'll also not just ignore things.
He's so damn cute. He sends the sweetest emails every day, and he even called me at 3am this morning because he fell asleep before we had a chance to talk last night and we make it a point to talk every day. I must have subconsciously known it was him because I didn't even bat an eye when I felt my phone vibrate and glanced at the clock. I just assumed it was him, and I was able to say hi and good night. He also is going to extremes to plan my birthday which is a really nice change from feeling like no one cares about or has time for my birthday (I personally believe people are allowed to be selfish one day out of the year -- their birthdays). We both want to meet each other's family and friends, and we're both trying to respect alone time, friends time, and each other time. Overall, this is a really healthy relationship.
Our good friends Dan and Mal got married this past weekend. That marks wedding #2, but definitely the more fun of the two weddings I've been two in the past two months. Not that Steph and Brian's wasn't fun but I was exhausted (physically and emotionally) and I just couldn't enjoy it the same way I did Dan & Mal's. Plus I've known Dan and Mal a lot longer than Steph & Brian, and at least know them as a couple better than I know Steph & Brian as a couple. It was awesome to see Dan and Mal finally commit to each other after 5 years together. They will make a wonderful couple and family.
This weekend was also wonderful because Sunday evening a good friend from high school who had estranged himself from me over the past year and a half finally came to his senses and emailed an apology to me. The past is in the past, and I am so happy that he emailed. I hope he and I are able to talk soon because I very much miss his friendship and would like to be part of his and his fiancee's life again. Prayer really does work sometimes, even when it seems to take an awfully long time!
One final bit of fun news, or at least something to make you (or me) laugh. Last year at this time I was about to embark on the January retreat with my housemates followed by an overnight excursion with Pat & Bro. Dave to type up the Christmas Program Binder. During that overnight excursion was the "24" premiere. And the best part? I got Bro. Dave hooked at "24" as much as he HATED to admit it! It was awesome. So this weekend I get an email from him saying, "Do you know what's happening next Sunday and Monday night? Maybe if you don't have cable TV you can get your special friend to watch it with you at his place. Maybe you can corrupt him like you did me." Haha, the thing is, Sully already likes "24", but it was quite entertaining anyway. At least for me. You sort of have to know Bro. Dave to fully appreciate this "24" addiction.
Have to go back to work -- Have a great day!
PS: My uncle donated $200 to the school I work at -- how unexpectedly awesome and generous family can be sometimes!
Love y'all.
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