| You Are a Prophet Soul |
 You are a gentle soul, with good intentions toward everyone. Selfless and kind, you have great faith in people. Sometimes this faith can lead to disappoinment in the long run. No matter what, you deal with everything in a calm and balanced way. You are a good interpreter, very sensitive, intuitive, caring, and gentle. Concerned about the world, you are good at predicting people's feelings. A seeker of wisdom, you are a life long learner looking for purpose and meaning. You are a great thinker and communicator, but not necessarily a doer. Souls you are most compatible with: Bright Star Soul and Dreaming Soul |
Friday, July 21, 2006
In Tune with My Soul
Thursday, July 20, 2006
this is why myspace is addicting
Here's the truth: I was never into facebook in college. I hated the concept, I hated the distraction, and I hated the pressure to "fit in" by doing it. I thought it was the stupidest thing and didn't want to waste my time always being on it. So I never did it.
I viewed myspace as the same type of deal. However, Suzette and Annie did it this year, and I figured that it may be a great way to keep in touch with them and other GVV-related peeps after this year was over. Besides, I was bored and was feeling crazy out of touch with tons of people, so I succumbed to the pressure and the "trend" and joined myspace. The cool thing is, I have since gotten back in touch with Circle K graduates, a couple college buddies I don't hardly ever get to talk to, and GET THIS -- my best friend from when I was 4-8 years old!
This girl and I lived next door to each other from the time we were born til the time we both moved away at the beginning of second grade. She's the one who got me into dance -- her sister started so we started. Megan was HELLA better than me, by a million, but we had some fun times together when we were little. The thing is, when we both moved, she had already joined the performing lines at our dance studio. She became the cool popular girl (she was of course pretty and talented) and I became the geek (glasses, not as coordinated, etc.) So, we went our separate ways. We haven't seen each other or spoken in probably 14-15 years? I have oftend wondered about how things have gone for her. She left Dance Shoppe and I didn't know where she went to high school until I came across her picture in a friend's yearbook. I didn't have a clue what she did for college or anything, and I had no idea how her family was doing. But, I found her on myspace and sent her a message saying hi, sending my best wishes, told her I was glad to see she was still dancing because she was always amazing and her ability/passion always inspired me, and asked about her family. I didn't know if she'd respond or not, but I thought what the hell, why not give it a shot! At least she knows she's a good memory to an old friend, and that's not the worst thing in the world. But, see, here's the funny part. SHE WROTE BACK! She said, "this is why I joined myspace!" She said she was shocked and excited to hear from me and even called her mom to tell her! :) lol she told me about her brother and sisters (her sister, who I can only picture as a baby is now a SENIOR in HIGH SCHOOL! I can't even begin to imagine what any of them look like!) and about dancing out in California and moving back to Minnesota. It's amazing what these networking things can do. This meant more to me and put a bigger smile on my face than any other connection I could possibly make through this thing. I mean, seriously, we've always wondered what happened to each other and now here's our chance to find out! I don't ever expect us to be friends again, but it's so cool that we have the chance to reconnect and at least learn about what the other's life has been like since we were 8. She doesn't even know I have a cat or that my parents are divorced, and those have been part of my life's story for EVER! I'm just excited she wrote back. It's pretty kick ass how these things work. If I've learned anything from this, it's that God really DOES open doors, and life really is about destiny and fate. :)
Ok, it's late, I'll admit it. But seriously, how cool is it to know that you're not the only one who wondered whatever happened to someone else? Oh, and speaking of, I recently discovered during some random Googling that the son of my old daycare lady, a boy 4 years my junior whose mission in life at the time was to make MY life miserable, is this incredible sought-after hockey player who rocked the Twin Cities, played on some minor-league summer teams, and is playing Div-1 hockey this fall at a major university. The pictures of this 7-going-on-19 year old is unbelieveable. LOL, if they could see me now...
I viewed myspace as the same type of deal. However, Suzette and Annie did it this year, and I figured that it may be a great way to keep in touch with them and other GVV-related peeps after this year was over. Besides, I was bored and was feeling crazy out of touch with tons of people, so I succumbed to the pressure and the "trend" and joined myspace. The cool thing is, I have since gotten back in touch with Circle K graduates, a couple college buddies I don't hardly ever get to talk to, and GET THIS -- my best friend from when I was 4-8 years old!
This girl and I lived next door to each other from the time we were born til the time we both moved away at the beginning of second grade. She's the one who got me into dance -- her sister started so we started. Megan was HELLA better than me, by a million, but we had some fun times together when we were little. The thing is, when we both moved, she had already joined the performing lines at our dance studio. She became the cool popular girl (she was of course pretty and talented) and I became the geek (glasses, not as coordinated, etc.) So, we went our separate ways. We haven't seen each other or spoken in probably 14-15 years? I have oftend wondered about how things have gone for her. She left Dance Shoppe and I didn't know where she went to high school until I came across her picture in a friend's yearbook. I didn't have a clue what she did for college or anything, and I had no idea how her family was doing. But, I found her on myspace and sent her a message saying hi, sending my best wishes, told her I was glad to see she was still dancing because she was always amazing and her ability/passion always inspired me, and asked about her family. I didn't know if she'd respond or not, but I thought what the hell, why not give it a shot! At least she knows she's a good memory to an old friend, and that's not the worst thing in the world. But, see, here's the funny part. SHE WROTE BACK! She said, "this is why I joined myspace!" She said she was shocked and excited to hear from me and even called her mom to tell her! :) lol she told me about her brother and sisters (her sister, who I can only picture as a baby is now a SENIOR in HIGH SCHOOL! I can't even begin to imagine what any of them look like!) and about dancing out in California and moving back to Minnesota. It's amazing what these networking things can do. This meant more to me and put a bigger smile on my face than any other connection I could possibly make through this thing. I mean, seriously, we've always wondered what happened to each other and now here's our chance to find out! I don't ever expect us to be friends again, but it's so cool that we have the chance to reconnect and at least learn about what the other's life has been like since we were 8. She doesn't even know I have a cat or that my parents are divorced, and those have been part of my life's story for EVER! I'm just excited she wrote back. It's pretty kick ass how these things work. If I've learned anything from this, it's that God really DOES open doors, and life really is about destiny and fate. :)
Ok, it's late, I'll admit it. But seriously, how cool is it to know that you're not the only one who wondered whatever happened to someone else? Oh, and speaking of, I recently discovered during some random Googling that the son of my old daycare lady, a boy 4 years my junior whose mission in life at the time was to make MY life miserable, is this incredible sought-after hockey player who rocked the Twin Cities, played on some minor-league summer teams, and is playing Div-1 hockey this fall at a major university. The pictures of this 7-going-on-19 year old is unbelieveable. LOL, if they could see me now...
Monday, July 17, 2006
Greg's Job Prayer Advice
For all those looking for employment and don't mind a little bit of faith-based advice, here's what a dear friend of mine suggested:
Pray that God will open and close doors as he sees fit.
I personally used to always pray that God's will would be made known to me, but this seems a more direct request. :)
With this job offer that I'm not so sure about, and a couple other job opportunities still in the waiting game, I'm up for ANY kind of prayer. :)
Pray that God will open and close doors as he sees fit.
I personally used to always pray that God's will would be made known to me, but this seems a more direct request. :)
With this job offer that I'm not so sure about, and a couple other job opportunities still in the waiting game, I'm up for ANY kind of prayer. :)
Saturday, July 15, 2006
My sad and pathetic life
I just realized tonight, as I sat and watched tv, read a book, and constantly looked people up on myspace, that I am really sad and pathetic. I haven't held company with anyone my own age (except for a stepbrother who is 5 years my junior) in the two weeks since I left St. Louis! It's amazing what a drag your social life can be when you don't really know anyone back home and you don't want to take the time to meet anyone new because you're in transition and will be leaving soon!
I really need to get a life. I think too much, don't get enough fresh air or exercise (other than the handy treadmill downstairs), and I'm memorizing yet again the summer television schedule. I haven't even been scrapbooking! It's all tv, computers, and books. The occasional cribbage game with Michael, the occasional outing with my family, the occasional trip to the grocery store or Target or Michaels... This is really pathetic.
I am looking forward to my trip to Wisconsin/Chicago/Kansas City. I hope that this job situation sorts itself out by then, so I can at least apartment hunt while I'm in Chi-town. It'll give me something productive to look forward to doing.
Somehow I don't think I'm going to be doing any cleaning while Mom and John are in Alaska.
I really need to get a life. I think too much, don't get enough fresh air or exercise (other than the handy treadmill downstairs), and I'm memorizing yet again the summer television schedule. I haven't even been scrapbooking! It's all tv, computers, and books. The occasional cribbage game with Michael, the occasional outing with my family, the occasional trip to the grocery store or Target or Michaels... This is really pathetic.
I am looking forward to my trip to Wisconsin/Chicago/Kansas City. I hope that this job situation sorts itself out by then, so I can at least apartment hunt while I'm in Chi-town. It'll give me something productive to look forward to doing.
Somehow I don't think I'm going to be doing any cleaning while Mom and John are in Alaska.
Friday, July 14, 2006
Shit
I got offered a job, and I'm not sure if I want it. St. Procopius, a Catholic elementary school in Chicago, offered me a Development & Student Recruitment Director position in its 220-student Hispanic grade school. It has decent pay, freedom and flexibility, and would be working in an environment I learned to love this past year in St. Louis (inner city Catholic elementary school). So what are my hesitations? One, they want me there August 1, which would SO not be happening. The other thing that could be either a positive or a negative is that it would be a one-person show -- I would be the entire Development department, rather than working on a development team. I would work with the pastor and the principal, but pretty much would be in charge of the entire school's development plan myself. That could be an awesome thing, but it could also be a little overwhelming. I'm not sure if I'm ready to take on that kind of project myself. Yes I'd like a challenge, but part of me wants my first job to be in the safety zone of a well-known organization where I might have some opportunity for advancement, AND where I'd have people working with and above me who could teach me a great deal. Do I want to be isolated, working by myself, or do I want to be part of a group environment? Also, there's little room for lateral advancement -- I work this job a couple years, and if I decide it's time for a change, I have to leave the school to get the next level of employment. The school is a Big Shoulders school and I find Big Shoulders to be an awesome organization. However, I don't really know how much direct contact I'd have with BSF or the organizations that give St. Procopius money.
Part of me thinks, "This is a great opportunity to learn and to see what you can do! I know I'd succeed and would do great things for that school" and that same part of me says "Those kids deserve someone to stand up for them and get them money and resources. Other schools have a whole team dedicated to doing just that, and yet this school and these kids might not have anyone if I don't take this job (although they'd find someone else)." I feel like working at this school would continue the Vincentian mission and charism of working for and with the poor, because the kids come from very poor Hispanic families that do not have a lot of opportunity for education.
What would happen if either KIPP or CAWC offered me jobs too? What if they want to meet me and invite me in for second interviews? I suppose I could ask them the likelihood of that under the guise (or not so guise-ish) that I have another offer but am interested in their organizations and would like to know if I have a chance before committing to this job... I could also ask Fr. Tim if it would be alright for me to visit the school, meet him and the principal, and see the general area while I'm in Chicago at the end of July. At that point, if I do have second, in-person interviews with the other two places, I could figure it out and apartment hunt during those three days I have in Chi-town. Ideally, that's what would be awesome to happen. Realistically, I don't know what to expect to happen. Both KIPP and CAWC have missions I believe in, and of course I believe in quality Catholic education, which is what St. Procopius provides.
My gut instinct after the phone chat with Fr. Tim and after he sent me the "job description" was that he seemed unorganized, and didn't have a real solid plan or idea of what he wanted or what I'd be doing. Plus, from the little I know of the area from my visit to Cristo Rey, I don't really know how comfortable I'd be in that neighborhood. I really don't know. I believe gut instincts are important. At the same time, my gut instinct now (which might be biased by the fact that I've actually been offered a position) is that I'd enjoy working at St. Procopius and would not only like but would come to love the work and the kids and the school.
My only question is, if KIPP or CAWC were to offer me a job, would I take one of them over St. Procopius in a heartbeat or would I decide to take St. Procopius instead? And will I constantly be comparing St. Procopius to Cabrini, setting it up to be more than what it can be because I have such a high view and love of Cabrini?
If I could answer those questions, I would know whether or not to take this job. I pray that God guides my heart in this matter.
Part of me thinks, "This is a great opportunity to learn and to see what you can do! I know I'd succeed and would do great things for that school" and that same part of me says "Those kids deserve someone to stand up for them and get them money and resources. Other schools have a whole team dedicated to doing just that, and yet this school and these kids might not have anyone if I don't take this job (although they'd find someone else)." I feel like working at this school would continue the Vincentian mission and charism of working for and with the poor, because the kids come from very poor Hispanic families that do not have a lot of opportunity for education.
What would happen if either KIPP or CAWC offered me jobs too? What if they want to meet me and invite me in for second interviews? I suppose I could ask them the likelihood of that under the guise (or not so guise-ish) that I have another offer but am interested in their organizations and would like to know if I have a chance before committing to this job... I could also ask Fr. Tim if it would be alright for me to visit the school, meet him and the principal, and see the general area while I'm in Chicago at the end of July. At that point, if I do have second, in-person interviews with the other two places, I could figure it out and apartment hunt during those three days I have in Chi-town. Ideally, that's what would be awesome to happen. Realistically, I don't know what to expect to happen. Both KIPP and CAWC have missions I believe in, and of course I believe in quality Catholic education, which is what St. Procopius provides.
My gut instinct after the phone chat with Fr. Tim and after he sent me the "job description" was that he seemed unorganized, and didn't have a real solid plan or idea of what he wanted or what I'd be doing. Plus, from the little I know of the area from my visit to Cristo Rey, I don't really know how comfortable I'd be in that neighborhood. I really don't know. I believe gut instincts are important. At the same time, my gut instinct now (which might be biased by the fact that I've actually been offered a position) is that I'd enjoy working at St. Procopius and would not only like but would come to love the work and the kids and the school.
My only question is, if KIPP or CAWC were to offer me a job, would I take one of them over St. Procopius in a heartbeat or would I decide to take St. Procopius instead? And will I constantly be comparing St. Procopius to Cabrini, setting it up to be more than what it can be because I have such a high view and love of Cabrini?
If I could answer those questions, I would know whether or not to take this job. I pray that God guides my heart in this matter.
Monday, July 10, 2006
Young and Idealistic
I know I'm young, idealistic, and therefore awfully naive. I'm full of compassion, optimism, and some belief that people are generally good at heart.
When it comes to this job hunting stuff, being all that isn't necessarily the best business-minded thing. How do I tell two people I've only met once that I felt an instant connection that day, that they are the type of people I want to be "when I grow up" and I feel I could learn a lot from them as mentors. How do you ask someone you sought as an employer to be a mentor? Can you? Can you do that and then seek their advice on job searching matters? Can you ask about other agencies/schools that you might be interested in? How does that all work? Because I feel as though they COULD help me, and I would love to seek their advice, but I care about them as people to and want to get to know them personally, and how do I do all that without it seeming insincere or like I'm using them to get a job?
Like I said, I'm young and naive. There's a job opening that's pretty much for my taking if I want it, and I'm not sure I want it. It's basically fundraising/development and student recruitment, for a small Hispanic Catholic elementary school of 220 students. I could do it, but I feel like there's not a lot of guidance or support, and I've been to the neighborhood and am not sure if I would be comfortable or enjoy working there. But how do I know? What if this is what God wants me to do? I don't want the easy way out, but this would certainly not be easy it would just be the first thing that came along. I don't want to walk blindly into something and end up hating it. I want to have something more substantial to walk into if I'm moving to a brand new city.
Lord I don't know what to do. I know God is behind all of this pushing me towards the right thing. I just I could follow his clues, pushings, signs, hints, etc a little bit more closely. Maybe then I'd figure out exactly what the heck I am supposed to be doing, or at least some things I might/should be looking for!
It's all bloody relative isn't it :-P
When it comes to this job hunting stuff, being all that isn't necessarily the best business-minded thing. How do I tell two people I've only met once that I felt an instant connection that day, that they are the type of people I want to be "when I grow up" and I feel I could learn a lot from them as mentors. How do you ask someone you sought as an employer to be a mentor? Can you? Can you do that and then seek their advice on job searching matters? Can you ask about other agencies/schools that you might be interested in? How does that all work? Because I feel as though they COULD help me, and I would love to seek their advice, but I care about them as people to and want to get to know them personally, and how do I do all that without it seeming insincere or like I'm using them to get a job?
Like I said, I'm young and naive. There's a job opening that's pretty much for my taking if I want it, and I'm not sure I want it. It's basically fundraising/development and student recruitment, for a small Hispanic Catholic elementary school of 220 students. I could do it, but I feel like there's not a lot of guidance or support, and I've been to the neighborhood and am not sure if I would be comfortable or enjoy working there. But how do I know? What if this is what God wants me to do? I don't want the easy way out, but this would certainly not be easy it would just be the first thing that came along. I don't want to walk blindly into something and end up hating it. I want to have something more substantial to walk into if I'm moving to a brand new city.
Lord I don't know what to do. I know God is behind all of this pushing me towards the right thing. I just I could follow his clues, pushings, signs, hints, etc a little bit more closely. Maybe then I'd figure out exactly what the heck I am supposed to be doing, or at least some things I might/should be looking for!
It's all bloody relative isn't it :-P
Saturday, July 08, 2006
Those Lazy Days of Summer
I have been home for 6 days now, and it's been the laziest 6 days of my life it feels. Yet I don't feel like a sluggish bum, though I should. I have done very little except read, watch loads of tv, and spend time on the internet. I did go to dinner & fireworks with Mom and John for the 4th of July, which was nice minus the big "job talk". Wednesday night Mike came over for dinner, baseball and cribbage (whoo hoo, exciting night!) Thursday Mom and I had a girls day at the Mall of America, which included pedicures, window shopping, chats about men over lunch, and a girlie chick flick and ice cream to end the evening. Other than that, I've been wholed up here, doing pretty much nothing, feeling absolutely no motivation whatsoever, and getting quite accustomed to it.
Why do I feel like that's a bad thing?
Because I'm worried about getting depressed or just apathetic. I'm worried that I'll get so comfortable with not having a job that I won't work hard to get to Chicago, which is why I pushed so hard to begin with in March. I knew that moving home would allow me to vegetate, and grow roots, and would make the dream of Chicago not feel so exciting or pressing. It's weird not having people around all the time! I mean, there are no roommates, no priests, no one stopping by to work for the afternoon -- and though the quiet is nice, it's also a little anti-social. I have very few peers in Minnesota -- of my three high school friends, one I am in touch with quite a bit, one emails sporadically but is completely unreliable when it comes to making plans, and the other has pretty much left my life for reasons unknown to me. I have few if any college friends in Minnesota... a couple maybe, but they have work, they have lives. The only other two people I could possible hang out with have made life choices that I'm not sure I agree with or would be comfortable around.
It doesn't help any that half the people I know in the world who ARE my peers and ARE my friends are either half-way across the country and/or are either married, engaged, or in a serious relationship? This includes my best friend whose maid-of-honor I'll be in Novemeber and my dear friend/ex-boyfriend Greg who told me Thursday he asked his "former nun" girlfriend (LONG story) to marry him (!!). I don't tend to be bitter about relationships and not being in one, because I know I don't need a guy to make me happy and I know I'm not in a permanent enough place to think about dating anyway! I'm not really complaining about not having a social life, because I'm still getting used to the days of sleeping in and having no responsibilities. I also realize that at some point I will be moving, and I don't want to start making new friends when I'm going to be leaving soon! What's the point? It's hard when everyone around you either has life plans, friends close by, a job, and/or a relationship to make them happy, excited, and focused on something! I don't have that focus. I did, when it was Suzette & I getting each other pumped up about moving to Chicago and all the things we'd get to do and the people we'd meet... that all seems to have disappeared somehow. My adament desire and motivation seemed to zap away with that first night home and those 11 hours of sleep.
It's just weird for me to be here, with no one to talk to in person, no one to hang out with, NO CAR to go do random sight-seeing or exploring, and no desire or motivation to find a job, get a life, or do anything remotely related to living like a living, breathing, exciting human being. I am perfectly content to sit at home with my books, my computer, and my tv. I'm lonely and I don't know what to do with it. What the hell has happened to me in six short days?
GVVs, I miss you!
Why do I feel like that's a bad thing?
Because I'm worried about getting depressed or just apathetic. I'm worried that I'll get so comfortable with not having a job that I won't work hard to get to Chicago, which is why I pushed so hard to begin with in March. I knew that moving home would allow me to vegetate, and grow roots, and would make the dream of Chicago not feel so exciting or pressing. It's weird not having people around all the time! I mean, there are no roommates, no priests, no one stopping by to work for the afternoon -- and though the quiet is nice, it's also a little anti-social. I have very few peers in Minnesota -- of my three high school friends, one I am in touch with quite a bit, one emails sporadically but is completely unreliable when it comes to making plans, and the other has pretty much left my life for reasons unknown to me. I have few if any college friends in Minnesota... a couple maybe, but they have work, they have lives. The only other two people I could possible hang out with have made life choices that I'm not sure I agree with or would be comfortable around.
It doesn't help any that half the people I know in the world who ARE my peers and ARE my friends are either half-way across the country and/or are either married, engaged, or in a serious relationship? This includes my best friend whose maid-of-honor I'll be in Novemeber and my dear friend/ex-boyfriend Greg who told me Thursday he asked his "former nun" girlfriend (LONG story) to marry him (!!). I don't tend to be bitter about relationships and not being in one, because I know I don't need a guy to make me happy and I know I'm not in a permanent enough place to think about dating anyway! I'm not really complaining about not having a social life, because I'm still getting used to the days of sleeping in and having no responsibilities. I also realize that at some point I will be moving, and I don't want to start making new friends when I'm going to be leaving soon! What's the point? It's hard when everyone around you either has life plans, friends close by, a job, and/or a relationship to make them happy, excited, and focused on something! I don't have that focus. I did, when it was Suzette & I getting each other pumped up about moving to Chicago and all the things we'd get to do and the people we'd meet... that all seems to have disappeared somehow. My adament desire and motivation seemed to zap away with that first night home and those 11 hours of sleep.
It's just weird for me to be here, with no one to talk to in person, no one to hang out with, NO CAR to go do random sight-seeing or exploring, and no desire or motivation to find a job, get a life, or do anything remotely related to living like a living, breathing, exciting human being. I am perfectly content to sit at home with my books, my computer, and my tv. I'm lonely and I don't know what to do with it. What the hell has happened to me in six short days?
GVVs, I miss you!
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