Connecting the Dots

A very merry Christmas to everyone who is out there, reading blogs and sharing in pieces of each other's lives - stranger or friend.

Last night at Christmas Eve Mass at St. Vincent DePaul Parish in Osseo, Minnesota, I enjoyed a multitude of Christmas carols in the midst of a beautiful service that included many tears after Communion and a poignant message during the homily.

Fr. Jack Long, who is one of my favorite preachers, presided over the Mass. The Gospel reading was interspersed with different Christmas carols, and Fr. Jack spoke during the homily about connecting the dots. In many ways, it was a commentary on how interconnected our lives are with each other, and how everything and every person has a purpose in God's greater plan. All the Old Testament folks - Abraham, Sarah, Moses, Aaron, Miriam, David, Saul, the prophets, Job, and countless others were another piece of the puzzle regarding God's plan and a representation of his love for the world and its people. When Mary and Joseph traveled to Bethlehem, part of the picture came into focus, with a whole other picture just beginning.

It is also true in our lives. People and events represent different dots, different turning points in our paths. Each interaction changes us and sets us on a new version of the path we are on. It's amazing to watch over the course of even a few days or weeks (much less a few months or years) how our life takes shape. What I am doing with my life today - the job I have, the job/grad school options I am considering, the relationship I left behind in July, the relationships and friendships I seek out now - all of these things can be traced back to events in my childhood, in high school, in college, and beyond. I can look back now and see the influences, see that "if not for that person or that thing or that event, I would not be who, what, and where I am today."

I know that my journey is constant - it will never be over. Each day and year is a new adventure. Sometimes I wish I had a bit more consistency, that my life could be a bit more stable, that my heart and my ability to love unconditionally were a bit more open. But I know that those are goals for my life, and that my life is taking the shape it needs to take. I can't know for sure where I'm going or what will happen next, but I can continue shaping my life in the ways I think help make the world a better place, spread God's love a little bit farther, and help me find the true happiness I know is out there for me.

That doesn't mean it won't be hard. Look at all the dots in Jesus' background - in Christianity's history. They certainly did not have easy lives or simple roads. We all have our crosses to bear. Right now, mine is a continued search for healing and reconciliation, and a continued mending of my broken heart. Someday, I pray to God I will get there. I will keep trying, and I will keep walking down the path I'm on looking for the next open doors, the next signs, the next invitation to love. Someday, in time, love will heal it all.