"This is the End... duh du-duh, duduh duh du-duh"

Revert back to senior year of high school "Company of Singers" show choir closer... I have no idea where that song is actually from, but we sang it as the final song in our show choir set. It seemed to fit as tonight was the last night of GVV 2005-2006. I can't believe it's over. It seems so surreal, and to be honest, it won't hit me until sometime in the next couple weeks. I feel like Nelson & Annie are gone for the weekend like usual, and Clare's headed out of town to visit friends, and the rest of us are taking an extended Christmas vacation again. I feel like in two weeks we should be back to St. Louis, but I know in my mind that won't really happen for most of us, and for those that ARE coming back to St. Louis it won't be the same nor will it be a return to GVV status. As of midnight tonight, the six of us are officially GVVAs (Gateway Vincentian Volunteer Alumni/Associates/All-Stars). Basically, we're the "formers", as in "former volunteers." I am just in shock, I guess. The end came so quickly! The first half of the year was fun and full of newness and adventures. The second half of the year we fell into routines and come March the time started to slip away like sand through my fingers.

But tonight was a fitting celebration of our amazing year together. Mass, singing "Do Not Let Your Hearts Be Troubled," reading our amazing departing covenant and sharing highlights from the year, giving Jim & Geri their gifts (our amazing art work and cool pictures of us), an amazing dinner by Padre David, the Maple Jam Band's live entertainment, and hallway chats late into the evening... who could ask for anything better?

And yea I'm gonna miss this crew. Even Nelson when he's loud, even Annie when she barely talks to me or gets violent :), even Suzette's incessant talking (which I love to death about her), even Clare's bitterness, even Erica's wanderings... I will miss Nelson's hugs and his laughter, Annie's humor and willingness to pitch in and work hard, Suzette's "Do it with joy damnit!" and spiritual maturity, Clare and my twin-like mindset (and doing YMCA/Soulard Saturdays!), and Erica's piano-playing and cribbage skills. I will miss that I can share music with Nelson in the car ride to GASA/St. V's, that Annie can show her soft side when she gets scared of movies and dark things that go bump in the night :), that Suzette & I can understand each other's affection for one worksite over the other & that we can talk about anything related to God or relationships, that Clare will listen and just come visit (and vice versa), and that Erica is such a sweetheart and challenges me to think in new ways. I will miss seeing Jim & Geri after work every day, Fr. Gerry's interest in our lives, Bro. Dave Berning's grumpiness, Bro. Dave Goodman's random offers to go see the play or the symphony or the opera or go dancing, Fr. Tom's theological discussions, Fr. Bill's quick witty remarks, Padre's overexuberent nature about everything & his cooking & camping adventures, and much more! I will miss my kids at Cabrini, like NONE OTHER, but I hope to get to come back and visit every now and then. I will miss the women of Let's Start, but I pray/know I'll be in touch. I will miss having Ali to hang out with and talk to every day in the office, and I will miss life on Arsenal Street.

But this year was amazing. I have learned and grown so much, in so many ways, and I couldn't be more blessed and grateful than to have had this year with these people. Part of me may be afraid I'll never see them again or that I'll lose the Vincentian charism I forged in myself this year, but I know that's not true. This is truly one of those "life-changing experiences" and I will never be the same ever again. I have been "ruined for life" so to speak. :) As I head back home, and eventually hopefully head to Chicago, I will carry this year, these memories, these lessons, and these people with me, in my heart and in my mind and hopefully in my actions, always.

God Bless you all, GVVs '05-'06, and everyone that makes this program possible.