Yesterday Clare shared this line from a Jamie Cullem song with me, and we both nearly teared up. It was quite appropriate, as in 7 short days our lives as GVVS in St. Louis will be but memories. It's absolutely insane that this year is almost over. I can't believe that all the struggles, all the challenges, all the growth, all the friendships, all the love, and all the memories of this year are going to be over just like *that*. I'm stoked about becoming a GVVA (Gateway Vincentian Volunteer All-Star/Alumni/Associate); I'm ecstatic about moving to Chicago and starting a job there (eventually...); and I'm thrilled that next week begins a mini-vacation for me back in my hometown of Champlin, Minnesota.
But I will be very sad to leave this place and these people. They have meant the world to me and watched me go through many life changes. It sounds corny but it's true. My willingness to seek the poor and to work with them, my weakness for little kids and the unconditional and unencumbered love they offer, my support and protectiveness of the women I see who struggle daily against addictive and criminal thoughts & behaviors. All these things and much more are what have changed in me this year. I have become an adult, I have grown in my spirituality in ways I never expected to, and I have learned what it means to be socially just and passionate about something. It's going to be very difficult to say goodbye to the people, places, and environment that have taught me all that and more.
I will cry... at some point this week I will cry. Tomorrow is my last day of work, and concludes with my last Let's Start meeting (quite appropriate) and going out with the Tuesday night volunteers for drinks & stuff. It'll be sad but it'll be very good. I'm excited. :) Today I got my stuff organized, but Wednesday is packing & cleaning day. Thursday will be "last minute scrapbooking" day. Friday is our big party, Saturday night is the Jason Mraz concert with Suz & Erica, and Sunday I fly home. It really is true how short this last week is -- 7 days isn't much when every day is one more step towards goodbye and the end of an "era".
As for the job search, it continues. I have a positive lead with a high school I visited two weeks ago while I was in Chicago. I have two phone interviews later this week for other jobs. I sent applications in for yet two MORE jobs. Something will happen soon; I can feel it and I'm excited. As my best friend says, "Finally getting a job will certainly solve some problems!" and I replied "Yes but it'll create a bunch more!" :) I'm just ready to be settled and stable. At the same time, I feel a lot of peace and happiness right now, for where I am in my life, for the relationships I've fostered, and the future that God has in store for me. I am so blessed. I hope I never ever forget this feeling.
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