Here are some additional thoughts based on other questions more related to Christian living in relationships.
Intimacy and Faith in relationships...
"I heard a statistic that people are only truly able to maintain 2-4 close relationships at any given time (including a spouse/significant other) and that those who do are the happiest. Less than 2 and they’re lonely, more than 4 and the intimacy lessens. While that stat surprised me, it also made a lot of sense. This doesn’t mean you only try to have 4 friends, but it does lessen the pressure to be best friends with a dozen different people at any given time. I think God and faith help in that area. If you are open to giving and receiving graces in your relationships, you will find that people play certain roles in your lives and you theirs. By being present to those individuals in your life while you’re with them, you will experience joy and fellowship even if they don’t become or stay your closest friends. I’ve found the people I can share my faith with become the people I can share more intimately with, and that is blessing. I think in romantic relationships faith is even more important. Being able to pray together, talk about what was heard/experienced at Mass, talking about faith issues, etc. are all necessary parts of growing as a Catholic couple. But there has to be openness and an ability to work through spiritual “dry spells” together too."
Do opposites attract...
"I think in some ways yes and some ways no. I think we are attracted to people who have similar values and interests, but who are different enough to still be interesting. I think some couples are complete opposites and able to work together great, but some couples who are total opposites clash too strongly and don’t know how to compromise. I think some of the key components of healthy relationships are 1) communication, 2) willingness to compromise, 3) strong self-confidence/self-esteem, 4) openness to learning and understanding another’s point of view, 5) laughter and pure enjoyment of each other’s company, 6) romance and intimacy and chemistry. I think the physical is as important as the emotional, and I also think that being able to talk about faith even if your approaches to faith/religion are different is extremely important. I think it’s important to compromise but also important to stand up for yourself and not give in too much (or it could breed resentment or loss of self down the line). Know your deal-breakers, and be strong in them. I dated a man I thought I would marry (still think we could someday), but there were certain things that became dealbreakers and no matter how much I loved him I knew it would affect the relationship long-term. So unless those areas are worked on/worked out, they’ll always prevent a long-lasting and fully loving relationship. It is not easy, but in the long run is better for one’s health and spirit."
Thursday, August 06, 2009
Theology on Tap Reflections
The Archdiocese of Chicago's Office of Young Adult Ministry launched TapTalk this summer - a blog dedicated to reflections on Theology-on-Tap presentations and topics. Occasionally I'll read through and comment on some of the reflection questions, and I decided to share some of those thoughts here too.
Being a Christian...
"Being a Christian impacts my daily life in a lot of ways. Being Christian has given me the ability to identify my own gifts, give thanks for them, and search for the ways to use them in a way that is pleasing to God. It also affects my attitude towards people – a greater patience, an ability to let go, and understanding of differences, kindness, generosity, and simple living are all characteristics I seek to embody that have a basis in my Christian Catholic faith."
Living the Gospel...
"Living the Gospel means living as Jesus lived. As we seek to understand his ministry, we come to learn how his ministry relates to our lives and the ways we are called to live and to love. Living the Gospel means being aware and taking action – for social justice, for our own spiritual development, for love, etc. It means accepting and owning our fears but working with Christ to surrender the fears so we can do what God the Father is calling us to."
The Catholic Mass...
"I have come to really enjoy and appreciate Mass. Having experienced Mass in many different cities across the world, it is always a peaceful homecoming to realize that no matter the language or tradition, the core of the Mass, the Eucharist, never changes. The Liturgy of the Eucharist, in action, is constant. It is a reminder that we belong to this community, a reminder of Jesus’ sacrifice for us, and a reminder of the years and richness of our Catholic heritage and tradition. While I’ve come to enjoy the readings and homilies more over the years, as I’ve learned to try and listen better, on the days when I just can’t concentrate or don’t get anything out of the readings, I always know the Eucharist will make sense."
Meaning of the Eucharist...
"The other question the Eucharist being about a community meal versus Christ’s sacrifice hit me in particular this year. At this year’s Holy Thursday service, I felt for the first time a strong sense of the sacrifice of Christ above and beyond the meal. I have continued to reflect on that sacrifice and praying that I may be made worthy of the sacrifice and that I may act in such a way that his sacrifice for me and others would not be in vain."
Relationship with Jesus...
"I don’t know when Jesus was first introduced to me or how he was described (though I imagine it was probably in Kindergarten or Sunday School when I was little). However, the first time I remember ever picturing Jesus on my own was in 4th grade during Catholic Schools Week. We had an in-school “Retreat” day and I remember one of the “Sessions” involved lying on the floor in a darkened classroom with our eyes closed. Soft music was playing (or ocean sounds) and someone did a guided meditation on the “Footprints” poem. It was the first time Jesus has seemed like a real FRIEND walking side-by-side with me. That image and notion of Jesus has stayed with me ever since then, and that’s how I describe my relationship with him to others. Jesus is a friend and confidant who listens, understands, sympathizes, challenges when necessary, supports, and guides. He’s a constant source of strength and support and encouragement, even when things look really low. When God seems far away, Jesus is always there. That’s why the Eucharist also means so much to me. It’s a concrete and regular example of that friendship and that constant presence in my life."
Being a Christian...
"Being a Christian impacts my daily life in a lot of ways. Being Christian has given me the ability to identify my own gifts, give thanks for them, and search for the ways to use them in a way that is pleasing to God. It also affects my attitude towards people – a greater patience, an ability to let go, and understanding of differences, kindness, generosity, and simple living are all characteristics I seek to embody that have a basis in my Christian Catholic faith."
Living the Gospel...
"Living the Gospel means living as Jesus lived. As we seek to understand his ministry, we come to learn how his ministry relates to our lives and the ways we are called to live and to love. Living the Gospel means being aware and taking action – for social justice, for our own spiritual development, for love, etc. It means accepting and owning our fears but working with Christ to surrender the fears so we can do what God the Father is calling us to."
The Catholic Mass...
"I have come to really enjoy and appreciate Mass. Having experienced Mass in many different cities across the world, it is always a peaceful homecoming to realize that no matter the language or tradition, the core of the Mass, the Eucharist, never changes. The Liturgy of the Eucharist, in action, is constant. It is a reminder that we belong to this community, a reminder of Jesus’ sacrifice for us, and a reminder of the years and richness of our Catholic heritage and tradition. While I’ve come to enjoy the readings and homilies more over the years, as I’ve learned to try and listen better, on the days when I just can’t concentrate or don’t get anything out of the readings, I always know the Eucharist will make sense."
Meaning of the Eucharist...
"The other question the Eucharist being about a community meal versus Christ’s sacrifice hit me in particular this year. At this year’s Holy Thursday service, I felt for the first time a strong sense of the sacrifice of Christ above and beyond the meal. I have continued to reflect on that sacrifice and praying that I may be made worthy of the sacrifice and that I may act in such a way that his sacrifice for me and others would not be in vain."
Relationship with Jesus...
"I don’t know when Jesus was first introduced to me or how he was described (though I imagine it was probably in Kindergarten or Sunday School when I was little). However, the first time I remember ever picturing Jesus on my own was in 4th grade during Catholic Schools Week. We had an in-school “Retreat” day and I remember one of the “Sessions” involved lying on the floor in a darkened classroom with our eyes closed. Soft music was playing (or ocean sounds) and someone did a guided meditation on the “Footprints” poem. It was the first time Jesus has seemed like a real FRIEND walking side-by-side with me. That image and notion of Jesus has stayed with me ever since then, and that’s how I describe my relationship with him to others. Jesus is a friend and confidant who listens, understands, sympathizes, challenges when necessary, supports, and guides. He’s a constant source of strength and support and encouragement, even when things look really low. When God seems far away, Jesus is always there. That’s why the Eucharist also means so much to me. It’s a concrete and regular example of that friendship and that constant presence in my life."
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